Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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