Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
