My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
