respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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