Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
They took my balls.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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