Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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