we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
