are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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