do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
