I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
