Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
