yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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