I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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