her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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