the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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