when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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