I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize