Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
