I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
