Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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