i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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