What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
