Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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