You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
