I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
