Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
