Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
