Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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