shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
