I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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