the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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