he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
