fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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