Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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