I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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