i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
