i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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