it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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