i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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