I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize