I'm going to jail i love you
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
