We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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