I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
