she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
