Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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