I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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