Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
