Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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