i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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