The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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