Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
