# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
