U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
