In the future we'll all be gay
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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