A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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