Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Drunk walkin through police station. America
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
