I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
