none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
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Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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