You're completely useless in the revolution.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Randomize
