pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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