My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
